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HELLO SPM!

Hello people. Hello 2012!


I haven't been online for a week, straight! Haha. How awesome am I? Very. New year, new resolutions huh? I guess mine are.. Study my ass off for SPM. Everything else just involves around SPM. Because the best revenge is.. Success! You can't control luck but you can control your results, your achievements. Hard work usually will be paid off. And if I want to be successful, in whatever I wanted to pursue after high school, I have to start now. Now. I'm not very lucky you see, so I have to earn everything the old fashion way. By working extremely hard. But it's okay. It will all be worth it one day.


As you all know, school had already started. Two week of school, I don't believe I have many homework. I will have loads of them sooner or later tho. I am worried now, about some of the subjects that I'm taking. I suck in a few of them. Haih. Okay so two week of school. The first day was kind of exciting. Hahaha. It was my last 'first day' in school, get it? As the week went, I  realized that everybody is getting pretty serious. I don't know whether it's the beginning-of-school thing or if it will last. I am no exception. I hope the fire that is burning in me, will keep on burning till the end of SPM.

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Sometimes, I hate myself. For all the things I did. For all the things I didn't do. For all the things I said. For all the things I kept inside. For all the wishful thinkings. For all the thoughts I put aside. For all the things I put people through. For all the nice things I didn't do.  Maybe a basket case. A liability. Maybe too melancholic for anyone to hold.  
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How scary is it, when you look into your future, nothing is certain. You don't know how you're going to end up. You don't know what you want to do. But even more scary, if you visualize your future and you see the person that you have now, in it. That you want that person, those people, in your future. You don't even know if THEY want to be in your future. Yet you hope they will.